the Ps
Patience.
Perseverance.
In many ways, this is the key to this life, no? Human action in conjunction with divine surrender. We actively, productively, do what we can and the open ourselves in the glory of non attachment, to watch it unfold in divine timing. As the saying goes..."Gd helps those who help themselves".
I have witnessed this pattern consistently in my life at all turns. Especially when the desire is great. The deeper the desire, the more challenging the surrender is for me, and yet the more profoundly it is called for. My being is so full of forward moving creative energy, it is a true continual practice for me to embrace and work with the energies of reception and allowance. In chi terms, yang energy is where my system thrives, yin energy requires mindfulness on my part. A lot of mindfulness.
Six years ago, on our annual August vacation, Stephen and I decided the time was right for us to leave Massachusetts behind and create our life in Sarasota. He had been advocating for this type of move for a long time, and I simply did not see it until August 2013, for a variety of reasons. We returned north, after our two weeks on my parents beach, my personal sacred ground since I was eight years old. I shared with everyone that we would be relocating to Florida shortly. However, Gd had other plans. It was FOUR years before we drove across those state lines out of Massachusetts, and after a fantastic road trip south, arrived in Sarasota.
August 13, 2017.
In so many ways it felt like a true victory. Accomplishment. We had walked through the fires of patience, persistence, surrender, faith. Between 2013 and 2017 we had grown, learned and survived so many layers of hell. I spent endless days in my bedroom, staring out the window, with Jack at school, Marielle napping, doing infinite hours of Healing Codes. I consciously knew that the life we desired, and the stepping out of struggle and into ease, was ours, all in Gds time, but it was eluding us, month after month, year after year, and I was determined to do my part. To study, pray, heal, accept and allow Gd to transform what needed to be, before we stepped into the next iteration. My faith never wavered but my patience was tested. As I listened to binaural beats, moved my hands through the positions of the Healing Codes, I would wander through our life here, in Sarasota, in my mind. I could not only see it, but I FELT it in my heart. As we drove into the driveway, here on Longchamp Drive, and I watched both children simply beam brighter than ever; I felt that we had crossed a finish line. WE MADE IT!!
And in so many ways we had. I certainly had more soul evolution, during those four years of much darkness, than I could have dreamt of. The waiting was incredibly purposed. I emerged into the Florida sunshine reborn. Knowing myself more clearly, but most profoundly, knowing Gd more intimately than I thought possible. As our first anniversary of our new life here, approached, we had really watched incredible miracles unfold. Our systems had begun to unwind. We watched as we synced in with our new rhythms. We dove into deeper depths of healing and inner insight during those first twelve months here, but from this vantage point, I can see how that year was simply the set up. It helped clarify vision, but it also illuminated the remnants of what was lingering.
I am a seeker. A visionary. A disciple. A mystic and an alchemist. I am a bumbling human trying to make sense of the knowings that come through, and honor my spirit. I believe every single thing in this life is dynamic. Perpetually in motion. With every breath we are co-creating with Gd. Every moment delivers us unto the next. There is no "we made it". There is a vastness of expansion that continues to open wider, more vividly and truly more magnificently than I believe our small minds can grasp.
"Where ever you go, there you are." Truth. Reflecting back on these last twelve months, our second year here, I am in awe of the gifts we have been bestowed. It has been a year of clearing. Clearing old patterns that could only have been looked at and reached if we had done all of the previous work. It has been a year of tremendous authenticity, and raw vulnerability, on what is working and where, we as a family, are still struggling. Suffering. Stuck.
As I share with Stephen, continually, if you chose to not look at those pieces, they will not be able to be thanked, transmuted and released. You will remain held at bay from your true divine nature, one with Gd. It is a practice, to be so internal. It is a calling, to be so available to your inner self. It is soul shattering, to journey this way. It is only through the observation of true self from the outside divine view, that we can continue to evolve. I believe in a new higher evolution of this life. I believe in co-creating the desires of our hearts. All. of. them. I see it. I taste it. I feel it. I seek it. Within. It only lies within.
These two years, here, have been glorious. They have been unburdened of so much heaviness we carried. Ours, as well as generational. These two years, here, have also held glorious struggle in what has been given an answer, from above, of "not yet". What is-- "not yet" --carries me on. Our answers from Gd, to our prayers, of "not yet", keep me diving.
Keep me Practicing. Both Patience and Perseverance.
And onward I march
Perseverance.
In many ways, this is the key to this life, no? Human action in conjunction with divine surrender. We actively, productively, do what we can and the open ourselves in the glory of non attachment, to watch it unfold in divine timing. As the saying goes..."Gd helps those who help themselves".
I have witnessed this pattern consistently in my life at all turns. Especially when the desire is great. The deeper the desire, the more challenging the surrender is for me, and yet the more profoundly it is called for. My being is so full of forward moving creative energy, it is a true continual practice for me to embrace and work with the energies of reception and allowance. In chi terms, yang energy is where my system thrives, yin energy requires mindfulness on my part. A lot of mindfulness.
Six years ago, on our annual August vacation, Stephen and I decided the time was right for us to leave Massachusetts behind and create our life in Sarasota. He had been advocating for this type of move for a long time, and I simply did not see it until August 2013, for a variety of reasons. We returned north, after our two weeks on my parents beach, my personal sacred ground since I was eight years old. I shared with everyone that we would be relocating to Florida shortly. However, Gd had other plans. It was FOUR years before we drove across those state lines out of Massachusetts, and after a fantastic road trip south, arrived in Sarasota.
August 13, 2017.
In so many ways it felt like a true victory. Accomplishment. We had walked through the fires of patience, persistence, surrender, faith. Between 2013 and 2017 we had grown, learned and survived so many layers of hell. I spent endless days in my bedroom, staring out the window, with Jack at school, Marielle napping, doing infinite hours of Healing Codes. I consciously knew that the life we desired, and the stepping out of struggle and into ease, was ours, all in Gds time, but it was eluding us, month after month, year after year, and I was determined to do my part. To study, pray, heal, accept and allow Gd to transform what needed to be, before we stepped into the next iteration. My faith never wavered but my patience was tested. As I listened to binaural beats, moved my hands through the positions of the Healing Codes, I would wander through our life here, in Sarasota, in my mind. I could not only see it, but I FELT it in my heart. As we drove into the driveway, here on Longchamp Drive, and I watched both children simply beam brighter than ever; I felt that we had crossed a finish line. WE MADE IT!!
And in so many ways we had. I certainly had more soul evolution, during those four years of much darkness, than I could have dreamt of. The waiting was incredibly purposed. I emerged into the Florida sunshine reborn. Knowing myself more clearly, but most profoundly, knowing Gd more intimately than I thought possible. As our first anniversary of our new life here, approached, we had really watched incredible miracles unfold. Our systems had begun to unwind. We watched as we synced in with our new rhythms. We dove into deeper depths of healing and inner insight during those first twelve months here, but from this vantage point, I can see how that year was simply the set up. It helped clarify vision, but it also illuminated the remnants of what was lingering.
I am a seeker. A visionary. A disciple. A mystic and an alchemist. I am a bumbling human trying to make sense of the knowings that come through, and honor my spirit. I believe every single thing in this life is dynamic. Perpetually in motion. With every breath we are co-creating with Gd. Every moment delivers us unto the next. There is no "we made it". There is a vastness of expansion that continues to open wider, more vividly and truly more magnificently than I believe our small minds can grasp.
"Where ever you go, there you are." Truth. Reflecting back on these last twelve months, our second year here, I am in awe of the gifts we have been bestowed. It has been a year of clearing. Clearing old patterns that could only have been looked at and reached if we had done all of the previous work. It has been a year of tremendous authenticity, and raw vulnerability, on what is working and where, we as a family, are still struggling. Suffering. Stuck.
As I share with Stephen, continually, if you chose to not look at those pieces, they will not be able to be thanked, transmuted and released. You will remain held at bay from your true divine nature, one with Gd. It is a practice, to be so internal. It is a calling, to be so available to your inner self. It is soul shattering, to journey this way. It is only through the observation of true self from the outside divine view, that we can continue to evolve. I believe in a new higher evolution of this life. I believe in co-creating the desires of our hearts. All. of. them. I see it. I taste it. I feel it. I seek it. Within. It only lies within.
These two years, here, have been glorious. They have been unburdened of so much heaviness we carried. Ours, as well as generational. These two years, here, have also held glorious struggle in what has been given an answer, from above, of "not yet". What is-- "not yet" --carries me on. Our answers from Gd, to our prayers, of "not yet", keep me diving.
Keep me Practicing. Both Patience and Perseverance.
And onward I march
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